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Saturday, August 2, 2008

Crazy day....

My day started out today by talking to great friend in Second Life (names to be kept anonymous) and basically we were talking about the virtual world, real life and what he was cooking as he was talking to me. You see it was about 4:00am my time yet dinner time for him over in Australia. I had a great talk and as it seems he was able to keep me awake long enough so that I could go pick up my little brother from the airport. You see he was supposed to arrive at midnight so I would have already been to the airport, picked him up and then in bed BUT nothing that my family does is ever done easy :-). They messed up with his boarding pass after he had already had his flight delayed in Atlanta so I decided no sense in sleeping when I would have just gotten into a deep sleep by the time it was time to get up to get him. So yes, that is where my wonderful friend came in to keep me awake.
So I left to go to the airport to get him. I was told that his flight would be in about 8:00am. No worries I got the with about 20 minutes to spare. Had a smoke on my way through the parking garage while trying my hardest to wake myself up and look half way decent. I got in the elevator and wouldn't you know, I got off on the wrong floor. That's me! Tired and delusional. So I get to the terminal area just before security and was checking and also praying that his flight was coming in on time. Ugh.... they had the time wrong he was coming in at 8:37am. So I sat and waited. My mind began to drift back to other times I was in airports. I don't fly often so there are very few memories. I drifted back to the day that I picked up (we'll call him Bob, although that is not his name) Bob from the airport. How nervous I was. I remembered exactly what I was wearing. I remembered walking around so worried that he wouldn't like me or accept me for me. I also remember the moment we actually met face to face. It was a feeling that I do not ever think I will be able to explain. No more virtual hugs. His human arms were finally wrapped around me while he embraced me. I was so happy.
Then as I was sitting there I was watching a couple say goodbye. They were hugging and kissing. The woman was about my age and looked rather sad. I knew that feeling all too well. That was the feeling I had when I had to take Bob back to the airport. I was so sad, but now that I look back on it I think I may have been a little selfish. I was so happy with how I felt when we were together that I never stopped to wonder if he felt the same. I would hope so considering he was also in tears not wanting to leave the day his flight took him back home. Perhaps I will never know how he really felt, but I have memories and to be honest the good ones will hopefully stay with me all of my life.
I was so tired at this point, wishing I had a pillow, blanket and my bed so I decided to walk around. As I was walking I was remembering the last time I went to pick my brother up from the airport. It was at Christmas two tears ago and my Dad and I got up super early to go pick him up. My Dad LOVED people watching and getting out of the house. He was a double amputee, no legs to a certain point due to diabetes, but yet he was always in a good mood. Little did we know that this would be the last time the entire family, all five of us would have a Holiday together.
So my Dad and I sat in the waiting area at the airport drinking coffee and joking around waiting for the little bro to get here. We were all excited and I loved the time I had with my Dad just sitting and talking about anything. I wonder if he knew that?
So siting in the airport today I got a little sad. Missing the man that taught me so much, but I don't think ever realized how much. He died just about a year ago and my family has struggled to cope with it. Going to my Moms house just isn't the same anymore. I miss him so much and I miss the happy person my Mom used to be. She is hanging by a thread and I wish I knew how to help her. I guess just being here is enough.
So FINALLY he arrived! So ready for bed yet knowing there was no way I would be able to just drop him at my Moms house I was still so happy to see him. This is the first time we all have been together since my Dad passed. I am hoping that this is what my Mom needs. Our help and strength to get her over that hump of losing her best friend and soul mate. I know my Dad was with us today as we sat around the table at my Moms house in the screened in porch. He was looking down at us and hugging each one of us. It felt really nice to just laugh and talk. A few times it got quiet as we all were thinking back on things. My Mom has not moved much since my Dad has been gone. A lot of things are still where they were so it was a bit hard. So now for a month it will be the family holding tight to each other and coming together to help each other out. I could not feel anymore blessed than I do now. For that I am grateful.

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